Things I said I would never do

Before I got pregnant – and whilst I was pregnant – I had my own views on parenting and what I would and wouldn’t do. I thought I would give a little insight into a few areas in which I have gone back on my word.

I always said I would breastfeed for at least 6 months.  That changed after a week. The first latch on was great and he fed well for about 5-10 minutes.  However we discovered he has a minor tongue tie and within his first week I really struggled to carry on with breastfeeding.  I went to an NCT breastfeeding clinic, got advice from friends and still nothing helped.  I was in agony every time he fed and I would tense up and cry.  Bertie’s latch was fine, it was his suck.  It was unbelievably strong (and still very much is!). After lots of crying (during and after feeding him) I had to make the decision to stop.  It was heartbreaking for me that I couldn’t feed my son and took me a good few weeks to stop feeling guilty.  I did however pump for a week, but after a few pumps a day this began to hurt too, so I reduced the amount I pumped and after a few days my supply just dried up. I then had to exclusively formula feed.  As I mentioned above, this took me a while to “forgive” myself as I felt so guilty.  I would think people are staring at me thinking, “why is she bottle feeding him and not breastfeeding? That’s so wrong.” 

Then I thought, “people would probably stare if I was breastfeeding in public and think I should do it in privacy.”  So, whichever route you go down, do it with pride and don’t worry about what people are thinking. 

I also always said I would never give a dummy.  I have always hated them, and I never had one when I was little.  However, even after a feed when I knew he wasn’t hungry he would suck his fist and he tried to suck his thumb.  I didn’t want him sucking his thumb as you can’t take a thumb away, so, I gave him a dummy.  Luckily I had one as it came in the Tommee Tippee starter kit, and he loved it. He likes spitting it out though, so I have to hold it in his mouth. Luckily this didn’t last long, and now keeps it in most of the time, but he does like to hold on to my hand like a security blanket, it’s so cute and makes my heart melt.  I just hope his need for a dummy doesn’t last long and he doesn’t get attached to it, that is what I’m dreading most.  Fingers crossed.

Lastly, I was always a bit sceptical about co-sleeping with babies, and I always thought I wouldn’t do it. But yet again this is something I have done, actually been doing since the day we bought him home.  Bertie loves his cuddles and has always been cuddled to sleep.  In the early days/weeks, I would sometimes wake up and wonder how he was asleep on me. I must have got up still asleep when he was whinging.  However, I do need to try and stop cuddling him to sleep as I think this could become a problem.  

So, really, no one can say exactly how they will approach things and react to certain situations as a parent. You just have to make your way through it in a way that suits you and your baby. No two babies are the same, and no two mothers are the same. Do what is right for you and your baby. 

Mr Farty Pants

From the day Bertie was born he took after his daddy, in the bottom department that is. When he slipped his first guff, we were on the maternity ward, then suddenly heard this rumbling noise – Rich and I just stared at each other and burst into laughter.  

We couldn’t believe someone so small and so brand new could make such a noise, let alone the smell! 😀 And now nearly 13 weeks later he is still the same and has gained the nickname “Little Mr Farty Pants”.

However since birth he has had trouble with his bowels, he doesn’t seem to go as often as all the books say.  “a few times every day”.  Bertie seems to go roughly every 3-4 days.  I got so worried I took him to the doctor, but he said it’s very normal for babies and not to worry. 

So, on the rare occasions where his does have a bowel movement I am quite happy, but mostly I am laughing my head off from the faces he pulls, his body language, the trademark farts and they way he just looks at me after. There have been quite a few poo-related belly-laughs in this house but the one I think is the worst comes to mind.  I hope I don’t offend anyone but I have to share as it still never fails to make chuckle and I cannot wait to share it with Bertie when he is older! Or he may just kill me when he finds out I have shared it with the universe. Anyway…

We had spent the day at my parents’ house, it being a sunday, we just chilled out and had dinner etc.  As usual Bertie had been passed around to each family member like a box of Quality Street, until it was time for us to leave.  On the way home we were discussing the day and I noted that he still hadn’t ‘gone’ and that it had been a few days and I said If he doesn’t ‘go’ by tomorrow I would call the doctor.  We got home and got settled with a unsettled boy.  Eventually he was calm enough to sit on my knees (I sit on the sofa with my legs up and he rests his back against my legs and knees with his legs on my chest). We were watching TV and then Little Mr Farty Pants started rumbling again – now this wasn’t like his normal farts and the face he was pulling made me start laughing, this got Rich’s attention and he paused the TV (sunday catch up day). Then, all of a sudden a massive rumble and a lot of pressure against my leg/tummy and I burst out laughing again – knowing exactly what he had done.  After a few minutes he had finished and I decided to take him upstairs to change him.  However, I had only moved him an inch and I saw that he had exploded out of his nappy, his sleepsuit, and right on to my jumper which also went through to the top underneath as well! As disgusting as this was I still couldn’t stop laughing – probably due to shock! Rich mid-hysterics got up and got my changing bag so i could at least strip him there and then take him up to bath him afterwards.  Lifting him on to his changing mat he dripped, (yes, dripped!) on to my new jeans!! I couldn’t believe it! 

A personal rant on car parking

Shopping and Car Parking Spaces

I thought it would be a simple enough task to pop to Tesco to pick up some bread and formula.  However, forgetting that it was a Saturday at nearly lunchtime (having a baby really makes you forget what day it is!) it was so busy and I struggled to find a Mother and Baby parking space.  This is only the tip of the iceberg for this post.

Since becoming a mummy I have really noticed that there are hardly any if none at all Mother and Baby parking spaces at Waitrose/Tesco/M&S etc.  The parking in Henley-on-Thames is awful (this is where I spend a lot of my days), it’s busy, and there are NO Mother and Baby spaces.  However, there are many disabled parking spaces, and as much as I know these are just as important, I don’t think there should be quite so many in EVERY car park everywhere, I think the spaces should at least be split and shared.  I have noticed over the last 5 weeks that there are a lot more mummies that go out shopping than disabled people and there are ALWAYS lots of disabled spaces available yet there are lots of mums I see struggling to get children and babies out of car seats, especially those with young babies who need to stay in their car seat.  I don’t want to you to feel like I’m bashing the disabled, as I know people close to me who are disabled and need these spaces.

Anyway, back to my Tesco trip.  Finding a trolley was an absolute nightmare.  This being my first trip to a supermarket since having Bertie (he was 3 weeks at this point) I didn’t know if I should take him in the car seat or take him out and put him in one of those special baby trolleys. I decided on the baby trolley and made my way to the trolley station, only to find that there were no acceptable trolleys available. One had a seat covered in dirt and the other 2 the wheels were broken.  There were another set of trolleys but they were behind a whole bunch of other trolleys and with a baby in one arm and my changing bag in the other. I couldn’t get to them so I decided to just struggle with a basket.  Well I walked in and on the 2nd Item I just gave up, it was so busy and people were not considerate and felt like they got in my way.  I dumped the basket and walked out.

As I get back to the car and try to get Bertie in his car seat I notice a mini swerve in, in a Mother and Baby space in front of me and swiftly get out the car, WITHOUT a baby or child. Well, this just peed me right off and I actually said something to them (I’m not usually this outspoken to strangers.  The conversation went a little like this;

Me:  Do you know you have parked in a Mother and Baby parking space?

Man: Yes! (rather arrogantly)

Me:  Well, it’s very inconsiderate and lazy taking a space that is meant for a mother and baby! (I still had Bertie in my arms) I raised him up in front of the couple  (A bit like that part in Lion King) and said it’s very difficult getting a baby in and out of a car when parked in a normal space without denting or scratching the next car when they are parked so close together.

Man: I don’t care

— He then started walking off, I reached out to his girlfriend.

Me:  You just wait till you have a baby and you have to struggle in a normal parking space because some lazy person decided to take a mother and baby space!

Well, this must have worked as they got back in the car and and moved! I couldn’t believe what happened, I had never done or said anything like that before.  The conversation was a bit more “loud” and probably a little ruder than what I have described, we may have said more in the heat of the moment.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think I have gone over the top?

My Birth Story

I started contracting 7 days over my due date.  I was desperate for my baby to arrive so I was encouraging the pain as much as possible.  However my contractions were only 10-20 minutes apart and not consistent enough to go to hospital, no matter how much pain I told the midwife on the phone I was in!

I was still contracting at midnight so I called the hospital again to see if I could go in, but she said my contractions were still not close enough and I was not in “established” labour.  After a brief conversation, she asked me when the last time I felt the baby move.  This totally took me by surprise, it hadn’t occurred to me that I should still be feeling movements during/between contractions.  So when I replied that I hadn’t felt any movements since before my contractions started (nearly 6 hours before) she said I should go to Day Assessment at the hospital to be checked over.  This made me happy and sad because I was happy to finally be going to hospital in the hope on my return it would be with our baby, but on the other hand I was so worried that something was wrong.

We decided that we should pack the car up with the bags and car seat that had been sitting by the front door since I was 37 weeks, “just in case” we may return as a family.  We finally arrived at Day Assessment at roughly 1/1:30am and I was strapped up to a machine that recorded the baby’s heartbeat and my contractions.  After roughly 40 minutes, and a scan, the midwife said the baby was ok and not distressed in any way, probably just tired.  She did question me though, she asked how I was feeling as I “looked rough and tired” (I had a stye in my eye that I’d had for a couple of days).  She suggested that I stay in over night (even though it was already gone 2am) and she would give me something to help me sleep.  Rich wasn’t allowed to stay overnight so off he went home to get some sleep in case things started to progress. Finally at 3am I got some tablets to help my pain so I get some sleep.  I got just as much sleep as I would have done at home, but I was in hospital – where the drugs were! I awoke at roughly 6/7am with just cramps but my contractions started up again a few hours later.  The midwife came in offering food and said that the Doctor would be doing the rounds roughly at 9am and that she needed to strap me back up to monitor the baby.  Rich arrived back at the hospital at 8:30am, so I wasn’t alone.  The midwife came and checked on me again and wanted to keep me on the monitor for longer as the baby’s heartbeat didn’t have enough range and the movements were still reduced, eventually both picked up and I was taken off the monitor.  The Doctors came round at 10am and I was so overwhelmed as I was just expecting the one Doctor but about 6 people rolled in to the room to talk about what I wanted and the monitors results, as I was now 8 days overdue.  I just asked that they get the baby out, and I don’t think that I could have coped another 4 days of “mild” contractions for my scheduled Induction.  Luckily they all agreed that I would be able to be Induced that day (Sunday) due to the lack of movements, slow heartbeat and me being so uncomfortable.  One Doctor was really concerned and asked to scan me again as he wanted to check the baby’s position and the position of the umbilical cord.  He was worried that breaking my waters would make the baby rise up and the cord come down.  After a lot of talking and yet another scan he agreed that I could be induced as long as a Doctor was also present, incase I had to be taken to theatre (I seriously hoped this would not happen!)

We were told to walk around and have some lunch as there were no midwives available for induction. It got to 3pm ish and we decided that it would still probably be a good few hours till I was taken in to be induced, Rich went home to try and get some sleep.  By the time Rich got home, I was on the phone to him saying that I would be taken in to delivery to start my induction in the next couple of hours.  Typical. He said he would still try and get some sleep and be with me by 6/7pm.  I was scared at the prospect of being alone, but I knew he wouldn’t really miss anything.

At roughly 5:30pm I was taken across to Delivery suite, room 4.  I was asked to change into a gown (in case I had to be taken to theatre) and get comfy on the bed.  The midwife put in my canular and then the Doctor broke my waters successfully without any complications. Thankfully!) Rich then arrived at 6:30pm.

I was in fully established Labour at this point, as I was already 3cm when my waters were broken.  My contractions got progressively stronger and I was soon unable to talk through them.  I was starting to really feel the pain and was begging for pain relief, mainly an epidural (even though I really didn’t want one.  We had discussed even if I begged, I didn’t want to have an epidural unless I needed one for medical reasons).  The midwife was talking through with us some options and I agreed to go with the Diamorphine. I got this at roughly 10pm along with an anti-sicknes drug as I had vomited a few times too.  I relaxed enough to lay on the bed for a couple of hours. (As I wasn’t able to sit still so constantly rolling/bouncing on the birth ball).  I was so out of it I don’t remember any of the conversation going on between Rich and my midwife other than that they were actually talking.  I was so grateful that she didn’t leave my side the whole time I was in labour (only to make Rich a cup of tea). I wasn’t expecting this as I had been watching One Born Every Minute for the last few years, and most of the time the midwives were not always in the room the whole time.

The Diamorphine wore off after about 2 hours and I was in so much pain I kept telling Jenny (my midwife) that it felt like I needed to push, she advised me to get up and walk about a bit – maybe go to the bathroom, as my next examination wasn’t for another 2 hours.  (This was a little difficult as I was strapped to the monitor still and was also attached to my drip).  I managed this and still I told her I was feeling very uncomfortable and it felt like the baby was coming! Whilst being re attached to the monitor she couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat (I started to panic – but she said it happens a lot – probably just to calm me down).  However she decided that she would put a clip on the baby’s head to monitor his heartbeat and at the same time check me over (this was an hour earlier than my “scheduled” examination) I am glad she did as she said I was 8/9cm dilated!! I was so ready to push at this stage, I got into the position I wanted – what we had all talked endlessly about in our NCT classes.  I was on my knees on the bed leaning over the back with my trusty Gas and Air, however it was roughly 2am and I was pushing on every contraction and the head kept coming down but then popped back up again.  I was so distressed that this “NCT recommended” position wasn’t working for me, and the midwife suggested I take a break and and try and do this in the sitting position (which I had been told that can cause “most damage”, I wasn’t impressed but ever so eager to get the baby out and finally find out the sex!

My trusty Gas and Air was taken away from me as I was told I didn’t need it(!!), and to hold on to the bars at the side of the bed to help me push.  Well, It worked and after a few long, hard pushes I experienced the worst part of giving birth  – the crowning of the head.  Before I even realised the midwife announced “the head is out”! I was so out of it, and just concentrating on the contractions and pushing, but I heard her say the cord was stuck around the head twice – she said not to worry and I believe she managed to get the cord away from his neck.  All of a sudden all these midwives (maybe a Doctor or two) came rushing in the room – his shoulder was a bit stuck. Luckily I didn’t need any of their assistance and with another push he was placed on me as they announced “IT’S A BOY”.  Myself and Rich just stared at him, we couldn’t believe he was finally here and so perfect.

We decided to name him Albert George (it could have been George Albert).  Before I knew it he was taken off of me to be checked over due to his “traumatic” arrival.  Because of this and also I was shivering and shaking so much after the birth, Rich had the first skin to skin with Albert whilst I was being sorted out and stitched back up.  After this I was given Albert and we tried the first feed, with the help of my midwife we managed it successfully.  I still felt very weak, so Rich dressed him in his first little outfit and wrapped him in his blanket whilst I had the quickest and coldest shower (the hospital happened to have a boiler issue). By the time I came back in to the room, the bed had been changed and I was able to get some rest for a couple of hours as I couldn’t be transferred up to the maternity ward straight away.

About Me and My Blog

I’m not great at writing or blogging, I haven’t been able to keep one going before.  So I hope I manage to keep this one going.

When I became a mummy (just over a month ago) I started to think that I wanted to share my views on pregnancy, birth and the ups and downs that come with becoming a parent for the first time or even if it’s the second or third time.

I love birth stories and before I had my baby I read a lot of blogs about it.  I will be posting my birth story and I have a couple of friends that have kindly said they would like to post theirs too.

So, here goes nothing, I hope you enjoy my babbling.