Mr Farty Pants

From the day Bertie was born he took after his daddy, in the bottom department that is. When he slipped his first guff, we were on the maternity ward, then suddenly heard this rumbling noise – Rich and I just stared at each other and burst into laughter.  

We couldn’t believe someone so small and so brand new could make such a noise, let alone the smell! 😀 And now nearly 13 weeks later he is still the same and has gained the nickname “Little Mr Farty Pants”.

However since birth he has had trouble with his bowels, he doesn’t seem to go as often as all the books say.  “a few times every day”.  Bertie seems to go roughly every 3-4 days.  I got so worried I took him to the doctor, but he said it’s very normal for babies and not to worry. 

So, on the rare occasions where his does have a bowel movement I am quite happy, but mostly I am laughing my head off from the faces he pulls, his body language, the trademark farts and they way he just looks at me after. There have been quite a few poo-related belly-laughs in this house but the one I think is the worst comes to mind.  I hope I don’t offend anyone but I have to share as it still never fails to make chuckle and I cannot wait to share it with Bertie when he is older! Or he may just kill me when he finds out I have shared it with the universe. Anyway…

We had spent the day at my parents’ house, it being a sunday, we just chilled out and had dinner etc.  As usual Bertie had been passed around to each family member like a box of Quality Street, until it was time for us to leave.  On the way home we were discussing the day and I noted that he still hadn’t ‘gone’ and that it had been a few days and I said If he doesn’t ‘go’ by tomorrow I would call the doctor.  We got home and got settled with a unsettled boy.  Eventually he was calm enough to sit on my knees (I sit on the sofa with my legs up and he rests his back against my legs and knees with his legs on my chest). We were watching TV and then Little Mr Farty Pants started rumbling again – now this wasn’t like his normal farts and the face he was pulling made me start laughing, this got Rich’s attention and he paused the TV (sunday catch up day). Then, all of a sudden a massive rumble and a lot of pressure against my leg/tummy and I burst out laughing again – knowing exactly what he had done.  After a few minutes he had finished and I decided to take him upstairs to change him.  However, I had only moved him an inch and I saw that he had exploded out of his nappy, his sleepsuit, and right on to my jumper which also went through to the top underneath as well! As disgusting as this was I still couldn’t stop laughing – probably due to shock! Rich mid-hysterics got up and got my changing bag so i could at least strip him there and then take him up to bath him afterwards.  Lifting him on to his changing mat he dripped, (yes, dripped!) on to my new jeans!! I couldn’t believe it!